ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

One of the nation’s great monetary minds has told The Advocate that he thinks it’s a bit rich that he has to suffer the indignity of having his ability to do his job questioned by elected officials that have tertiary qualifications from one of the great regional universities.

Philip Lowe is being grilled for a second day by a House Committee in Parliament House over the 9 successive cash rate increases he’s implemented in his quest to squash inflation and unemployment.

However, he explained to our reporter that while he finds it necessary to be interrogated about the decisions he’s made in relation to interest rates, he finds it beyond the pale that they only have a Bachelor’s degree from Charles Sturt University.

“I went from Wagga to UNSW. I did night school and graduated with the University Medal,” he said.

“UNSW itself isn’t that special. Maybe if you’re the child of a Mainland Chinese textile baron. I worked my cunt off when I was there and I received the fruits of my labour, in that I was invited to attend the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. You might’ve heard of it,”

“MIT? That’s right, the university from Good Will Hunting. That movie is essentially autobiographical. I went from Turvey Park to Boston just using my brain,”

“Which is why I think it’s pretty crook that I have to sit there and have my work performance evaluated by some mouth-breather with a three-year degree from Charles Sturt University. What the fuck do they know about the financial systems that control society as they know it. They probably have a $75 000 car loan at 10.48% over five years with a 40% balloon payment at the end. They’re probably still renting and cursing the property market for being unfair,”

“I would appreciate being grilled by someone with a bit of panache. Someone with runs on the board. Not a Tasmanian. Someone like Malcolm Turnbull or even Dan Tehan. If I got grilled by Jim Chalmers, it’d just descend into an argument over whether Paul Keating was able to achieve complete autofellatio within a 100 days of taking office,”

“My job is a lot harder than the layperson thinks.”

More to come.


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