ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Deputy Prime Minister was on his way home to Armidale today after a big Melbourne Cup celebration in Scone when he decided, while passing through enemy territory, to duck in for a quick sharpener.

One place in Werris Creek, a small community on the NSW Liverpool Plains, where Barnaby would be less likely to be called a fuckwit to his face, is the Bowling Club so that is where Mr Joyce told The Advocate he was headed.

“Low and behold, fucking Tony Windor’s car is parked out the front,” Barnaby told our reporter a short time ago.

“Couldn’t believe it. I was hanging for a cold schooner just to even me out a bit. I woke up feeling rougher than a cat’s tongue so I went the back way out through Werris, just in case. More cops than flies on that road between Tamworth and Qurindi,”

“Anyway, that ruined my afternoon somewhat. Tell you what, but. You can draw a line through Tamworth. I can’t buy petrol without some dickhead looking at me like I’ve done a shit on the living room rug. C**t of a place if you ask me. Nah, it’ll have to be good old Walcha Road. Anyway.”

The Advocate reached out to Tony Windsor for comment but was told he’d lent the car to a nephew who recently put his Ford Laser on its roof in a table drain.

More to come.

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