Report: Housemate Won’t Notice Missing Pizza If You Rearrange Other Slices

"There's one thing worse than stealing your housemate's fridge pizza," she said. "And that's eating warm sushi."

Report: Housemate Won’t Notice Missing Pizza If You Rearrange Other Slices

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

As the last of the Wednesday night pinot gris dripped from her pores, an East Betoota glazier finally felt right again to stomach something last night – a slice of her housemate’s leftover supreme pizza.

As there were five four slices left or half your standard pizza, Natalie Pearson thought she’d be able to get away with stealing a slice.

So at around midnight last night, the 28-year-old snapped off a slice of the Rio Grande Supreme that her housemate ordered earlier that evening and quickly ran back into her room to enjoy the ultimate sharehouse forbidden fruit.

“Sasha [housemate] won’t notice,” she said.

“She’s lived her for five years and still has to ask us which day is garbage day. Besides, she uses my makeup all the time – which is fucked by the way. Who does that? Anyway, I’m just glad I can stomach something now.”

However, Sasha did notice this morning as she grabbed a quick breakfast slice this morning before stepping out the door.

Wondering which of her three other housemates could be responsible for such a betrayal, she quickly settled on Nat.

“As if it was Rachael,” she said.

“Rachael runs four miles before the sun comes up. Natalie struggles to get out of the beanbag in the living room. I mean, I don’t care – but she could’ve at least asked me. Bitch thinks she’s fooling me, please.”

More to come.

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