Nation’s Apprentice Tradies Begin Winter Bulking Before Festival Season

"It's all worth it. We look good, we feel good and we get chicks. Don't be jel, haters."

30 July, 2014. 10:00

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

As winter approaches, an entire generation of young Australian tradesmen are preparing for strict bodybuilding regimes at an array of electronic dance festivals.

Third year carpentry apprentice, Joel Simmons, says the ‘festival season’ is quite an important time of the year for a large portion of Australia’s blue-collar men.

“It starts in about May when we really start to bulk. We hit the protein powder and pre-trainer like it’s about to be banned from the shelves”

“…so come August we can really ‘shred’. This means endless cardio, we strip off all the fat, so when summer hits we are a ready to show off these new rigs”

“and the sluts love it”

Well prepared party-goers show off their new and improved 'summer rigs'
Well prepared party-goers show off their new and improved ‘summer rigs’

 

The first of many electronic dance festivals for the 2015 summer was marred by the tragic deaths of several party-goers, with alleged overdoses on party drugs.

Joel Simmons believes that while this is tragic, drug use isn’t the number one priority for most of the young men present.

“Sure, a couple of the boys rip in and jump on the flippers – but for the most of them, it’s all about burning [calories]. We like to go to these things to have a dance and give the girls a sample of our aesthetics.”

It is believed the new  ‘Bruss’ culture of six-packs, tattoos and fake tan has entered the mainstream through both amateur bodybuilders and other other sportsmen joining in on the shameless self-promotion via Instagram and Facebook.

Since 2013, a wildly popular Facebook group titled ‘Bruss Hunting’ has payed homage to the young men involved in this trend.

Aside from the underground followers of Bruss life, the new demographic was validated through the iconic ‘Hot Tub Pic’ of 2013. The photo, posted by former Queensland Reds star Digby Ioane, shows a group of muscular men posing like bodybuilders in a spa bath together.

Included in the photo was himself alongside as rugby stars Quade Cooper, James O’Connor and Kurtley Beale – as well AFL superstar Buddy Franklin. The Generation Y of Australian sport.

The 'Hot Tub Pic' of 2013. A range of both AFL and Rugby Union stars show off their tattoos and muscles.
The ‘Hot Tub Pic’ of 2013. A range of both AFL and Rugby Union stars show off their tattoos and muscles.

Many have ridiculed the new craze and say that it is just a group of sad little boys trying to compensate for something, but Joel Simmons, a proud ‘Bruss’, believes the culture is here to stay.

“People always rip on what they don’t understand. Can you imagine the work we put in?”

“I work as a plumber from 5 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon every day, then I spend at least 2-3 hours in the gym before dinner.

“It’s all worth it. We look good, we feel good and we get chicks. Don’t be jel, haters.”

Shirtless men indulge in the euphoria associated with electronic dance music and strobe lights.
Shirtless men indulge in the euphoria associated with electronic dance music and strobe lights.

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