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In some breaking news from the United States Of America, Donald and Melania Trump have officially recorded more cases of community transmission than the entire state of Queensland.

This comes after the President and First Lady were both diagnosed with the virus, which they publicly refused to acknowledge until it started getting a bit too full-on.

The President made the announcement via Twitter, and is currently isolating with his Melania as they desperately try to drink as much hand sanitiser as possible while trying to inject themselves with bleach.

His announcement follows Queensland announcing only two new cases of Covid-19, which both came from hotel quarantine.

New Zealand, after copping shit from the President a few weeks back have also been quick to let the world now that the Trump family is responsible for more new cases of COVID than their entire nation.

Donald Trump was surprisingly unavailable for comment.

More to come.

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