ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Defence Minister Peter Dutton is frantically trying to redirect a parcel of new tanks to Ukraine this morning after Russian leader Vladamir Putin decided to get the ball rolling on annexing the resource-rich state.

The parcel of third-hand billion-dollar M1 Abrams tanks is currently between the United States and Australia, according to Mr Dutton’s office.

However, the former policeman turned multi-millionaire has revealed to the media that he doesn’t have the ability to redirect the parcel at the moment.

“I am refreshing my Australia Post app every 10 minutes,” he said.

“And I still don’t have the option to redirect it. It says I have to sign for it, which shits me because I definitely remember ticking the box to say it was fine to leave it hidden behind the bins next to the garage,”

“Now that we have a situation brewing in Ukraine, we have a legitimate use for them. Rather than wait for the inevitable Chinese land invasion of North Australia, we can cut our tank teeth in Central West Asia,”

“In saying that, this appalling service is why Australia Post needs to be privatised. It’s clearly inefficient and I’m disappointed with my experience thus far.”

The Advocate reached out to the Prime Minister’s Office for comment on the redirection but Mr Dutton explain Scott isn’t really briefed on anything anymore.

More to come.


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