Former Prime Minister Scott Morrison has reportedly booked a two hour massage and king suite at Brisbane’s Calile Hotel this evening, after punching out the longest work day of his entire life.

A full six hours in the box at the Royal Commission into Robodebt, and Scotty is finally starting to sympathise with the working man.

Unlike those welfare-dependent peasants that got him into this mess in the first place – Scotty now knows what it’s like to burn the midnight oil.

“I am absolutely rooted!!!” the 54-year-old career bureaucrat told The Betoota Advocate this afternoon.

“Word to the wise. Don’t get into this politics game unless you can stomach the grind”

“It takes it outta ya”

The long-awaited Robodebt Royal Commission is looking into the former federal government program that wrongly accused thousands of welfare recipients of owing Centrelink money. 

Working alongside his last remaining Hillsong ally in the shape of Stuart Robert MP, Scotty From Marketing was the Social Services minister when this cruel program was devised and launched. He was Treasurer when it was expanded to millions of Australians – and he was Prime Minister when it faced two legal challenges.

Victims have since told the royal commission that their robodebt notices caused them sever psychological damage and tore families apart – many were forced into selling their cars, homelessness and self-harm.

Today is the first day Scotty has ever spoken about his role in this criminal conspiracy saw hundreds of thousands of underclass Australians issued fictional and illegal welfare debts – shameful stain on Australian democracy that a court of law has since labelled “shameful” while approving a $1.8bn settlement.

And as he made clear moments ago, they are bloody lucky to keep him in that chair that long.

“Not finished? Are you kidding me!?!” barked the former PM, at the halfway point today

“I didn’t even work six full hours on election day. This is ridiculous. I’ve already done 3 hours in this chair and they want me to do another 3?”

“It’s ironic isn’t it? I’ve probably worked harder today than any of these dole bludgers at the centre of this whole thing”


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