WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
The British Royal Family is today facing a new set of scandalous allegations, as the Kate Middelton saga rolls on.
With the British press sitting on their hands until Buckingham Palace gives them the go ahead to print anything concrete about the whereabouts of Princess Kate – rumours have begun swirling that Prince William may have just reinvented Christianity.
The rumours doing the rounds revolve around William following in the footsteps of his forefather King Henry VIII – who famously separated himself and his country from the Catholic Church so he could get a divorce and keep rooting around.
That decision lead to the splintering of Christianity and the formation of the Protestantism.
It’s now alleged the current Prince is trying to excommunicate himself from the Church in an effort to free himself from the constraints of traditional married life.
This breaking up with the Church is believed to be the reason why Kate Middelton hasn’t been seen since Christmas last year (aside from a couple of grain pap photos).
A Royal Family expert from South Betoota Polytechnic’s History Faculty explained to the Advocate why there might just be merit to this theory.
“It’s likely that William may be trying to keep Kate quiet until he can sort out this new arm of Christianity which will sign off on him being a pants man,” the expert said.
“Obviously, it’s not Kate who wants to root around, because Royal women who want to do that end up meeting very grizzly fates or terrible accidents.”
“And the Royals would have sorted that out way before now if that was the case.”
“So, we’ll wait with bated breath to see if we’ve got a whole new arm of Christianity to deal with.”
More to come.
