A recent report from the Australian Bureau Of Statistics has found that 90% of people who think that the freedom for private schools to sack gay teachers is the most pressing political issue in our country – attended the ‘School Of Hard Knocks’ according to their Facebook profile.

The study shows that majority of the most vocal supporters of religious freedoms are alumni of the same institutions, both the ‘University Of LIFE’ and ‘School Of Hard Knocks’ – which are often bragged about on their Facebook profiles, as a way of showing that they have made it through life without having to learn shit.

Professor Lote Langer from the ABS says that those who are most worked up about a clause in the constitution that they didn’t know about until some politicians accidentally brought it up last week, are people who have not much else to worry about.

“Much like Tony Abbott, they are of a generation that was not required to do much to get ahead. Because of this, none of them appreciate being told how they should act”

“Essentially, none of the School Of Hard Knock’s alumni have ever heard the word ‘No’ – Which is why their biggest concerns on a political level involve legislation that prevents them from doing whatever the fuck they want”

“As for more pressing issues like climate change and sending young men to war, most of them aren’t overly interested in these matters because it’s not something that immediately affects them, as far as they can see from inside their blonde brick four-bedders in the Sydney’s North West”

“It’s political correctness gone made! All these (sic) lefties need to harden the fuck up” says Greg, who attended both the School Of Hard Knocks and University Of Life between 1970 and 1990.

With the Great Barrier Reef currently bleaching at an alarming rate, and an entire generation of young Australians unlikely to ever buy a home, The Liberal Government has been praised for focusing on the real issues at hand.


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