ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

New Zealand Prime Minister Chris Hipkins has used Labour’s campaign launch in Auckland last weekend to outline a number of key policies that his government will take to the upcoming election later this year.

Should the Kiwi Government be returned to power, Prime Minister Hipkins says he will ban supermarket chain Countdown from selling roast South Island takahē – a flightless swamphen indigenous to Aotearoa and the largest living member of the rail family.

Takahē numbers have been decimated in recent years due to the demand for the bird’s succulent meat, which has become a dinner table favorite in New Zealand.

Prime Minister Hipkins said Labour will introduce another flightless bird called the chicken, an avian workhorse that has proven to be a worthy replacement for the takahē in other countries around the world.

“The takahē has almost been eaten into extinction,” said Hipkins.

“We need to find a solution, and Labour has the answer. Should we be returned to power later this year by the good people of New Zealand, we will outlaw the sale of rotisserie takahē and replace it with another bird called the chicken, which Labor understands is consumed around the world and enjoyed by billions of people every day,”

“They also produce eggs like the takahē does, except these eggs are not too abundant in deadly cholesterol. They can be enjoyed in a variety of ways. You may cook the eggs in a pan like you would a slice of lamb backstrap. Eggs can be blended together and enjoyed French-style, something called an omelette. Eggs can be scrambled or poached. In a word, eggs can be cooked. Rather than the usual way we have been eating takahē eggs for hundreds of years, which is to put a hole in each end, blow the contents out, and eat the delicious shell,”

“The sale of takahē eggshell will also be outlawed. Together, we can make sure the takahē doesn’t suffer the same fate as our majestic Moa.”

More to come.


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