ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Barnaby Joyce had told The Advocate today that being in opposition has its benefits, one of them being he gets to spend more time in his electorate doing the things that he feels passionate about.

“I’m actually quite a nature fan,” said the Member for New England.

“Now that I’m in opposition now for the first time since 2012, I have time to focus on things like animal conservation and environmental protections for the New England. Something that I’m becoming more passionate about the older I get. I’m not turning into a country teal, I’d rather put a fork in a powerpoint than be a Teal. I just got back from Ebor where I shot part of my new nature documentary that I’ve been working on,”

“People have been doing it tough in the New England, there’s not much money up here unless you’re on the land or you’re some doctor. The bloke up here who does the lapbands drives a green Porsche the cunt [laughs] No he’s actually a nice guy. So this part of the doco focuses on how people have been doing it tough in the cost of living crisis and been forced to hunt their own meat, which is pretty grim if you ask me. I’ve had to do it, I’ve trapped pigeons for years for their meat. But I draw the line at eating platypus. I’d never eat one, no matter how hungry I was.”

Our reporter asked Barnaby if he’d rather shoot a platypus and eat it or be an inner-city teal.

“That’s a tough one,” he said.

“Look, I’d probably rather eat a platypus to be honest. It would be tough, though. Doing it, not the meat. I’ve heard from some bastards who have eaten platypus that it’s actually quite nice if you cook it low and slow. Few herbs and spices. Bit of garlic and butter, you know what I mean. Not many people know that eating platypus is actually illegal, too. The cops have shot people for less in the past. I say that in the documentary,”

“Anyway, I look forward to seeing you guys at the premiere.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here