Ethnic restaurants and cafes across the country (with one notable exception) are abuzz this week, in preparation for the World Cup.

Exorbitant amounts of coffee have been ordered, beers have been imported, and the preparation has been done to make an excessive amount of European and Middle Eastern sweets over the coming weeks.

The restaurants and cafes are preparing to breach the nation’s Responsible Service Of Alcohol (RSA)  regulations for what the industry calls the greatest sporting spectacle in the world, the FIFA World Cup.

The World Cup kicked off last night, with Qatar going down to Ecuador. With the host nation embarrassing themselves even more than was thought possible, the main slate now arrives, with 2 weeks of games between 9pm and 6am. 

The exception is, of course, the nation’s Italian community, whose homeland failed to qualify for the pinnacle of football this year and have subsequently refused to televise the event.

However, that has not stopped the other ethnic restaurants and cafes from going all out for the big event.

“Forget the State of Origin, this is it. The cup of life. The beautiful game. Football. The world cup,” said the boss of a random Croatian restaurant in the industrial part of Betoota Hills with tears running down his face.

“RSA. Bullshit. Fuck off with RSA during the world cup, we will be open during the football and serve whatever we want,” he said.

“Fight’s aren’t caused by alcohol anyway. They are caused by troublemakers who can’t leave the past behind.” 

A Change.Org petition has since gained over 450,000 signatures this month calling for all ethnic restaurants to be exempt from the RSA regulations during the month of June for the World Cup, but the nation’s property developers have yet to give the respective state government’s permission to relax laws on night trading.

More to come.


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