ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A politically-disengaged young man from our town’s leafy and bohemian French Quarter has no idea that there’s an election on right now, attracting jealousy and spite from those in his immediate circle of mates.

On top of that, he doesn’t even care who wins.

Conner Dalton runs the kitchen at a reputable restaurant in the Old City so, he says, he doesn’t really have much time to follow the news.

The 29-year-old shared his limited political insights with The Advocate this afternoon.

“It’s not that I don’t care about politics,” he said.

“Actually, it is. I know who Scott Morrison is because of the bushfires and the floods and how he did fuck all but routinely make a cunt of himself on the tele. I’ve heard of Anthony Albanese. But yeah, I just don’t really care,”

“You know, it’s like how some people don’t like watching soccer. Like, for me, I love watching football but if you asked my brother to watch a game, he’d rather have a hole drilled in his forehead and have a pot of varnish poured directly into his frontal lobes. Which is fair enough but that’s what it’s like with me and politics,”

“Like, I don’t know how people can sit around all day and just read article after article about some public servant doing this and that. Then on top of that, have the energy to care about it. I’ve got mates who are really into their politics and they just look stressed all the time. They tell me that I should care – and I do feel like I should care – but I just don’t.”

When asked who he plans to vote fore, Conner said he isn’t even registered to vote.

“Why the hell would I open myself up to getting fined if I forget that it’s even on?” he asked.

After our reporter to it to him that some in the community, the jaded freaks and spiritually-dead hedonists, would consider him to be lucky that he didn’t know an election was on, Conner just shrugged.

“I don’t really care.”

More to come.


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