29 September, 2016. 12:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A SPLINTER GROUP OF LOCKOUT law proponents are having their voice heard around the harbour capital this week ahead of next month’s landmark protests against the NSW Government’s measures to kerb alcohol-fuelled violence.

Citing that the only Sydneysiders who want to see an end to these life-saving measures are “perverts employed in menial roles that live for the weekend,” the Keep Sydney Closed [KSC] movement agrees with the notion that the controversial lockout laws were a Baird brainwave.

“You’ve got these people with facial piercings in overalls going on about how there’s no live music or culture in this city. The kind who moan about paying HECS back on their pottery degree,” said KSC president Robert Aukland.

“The only live music in Sydney, historically, is pinga music. The kind of monotonous crap that degenerates love to get high to. Come talk to me when Sydney produces a Powerderfinger or Tame Impala,”

“These Keep Sydney Open people were on the wrong side of the HSC bell curve and now they’re on the wrong side of the culture one. If you want us to be like Berlin, Melbourne or some other socialist cesspool, then fucking move there. People deserve the right to enjoy an evening meal without having their brain reset by a drunk angry man and a footpath.” he explained.

Firing back at Mr Aukland, Sydney disk jockey Mikey “DJ Bondi Ketamine” McDonald lashed out at the pro-lockout movement, saying that every city around the world has a vibrant nightlife scene and the harbour capital shouldn’t be any different.

Explaining that Sydney’s unique location and history influences the music that the city producers, the 37-year-old part-time musician said that with the city’s hustle and bustle vibe, pinga music is the natural outcome.

“Brisbane and Perth have a really laid back vibe, that’s why you get bands like ‘Impala and the ‘Finger come out of places like that. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of sheep in this world and they don’t know what real music is so they love commercial bands like that,”

“If people just listened to us like Baby Boomers listen to Mike Baird, we’d be unstoppable.”

For those interest in joining the Keep Sydney Closed movement, Mr Aukland advises you to click through to the organisation’s Facebook page and attend their inaugural rally against the pill-popping socialist perverts this Friday in Taylor Square, located in Sydney’s Upper East Side. 


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