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As residents around the come to terms with Level 2 Water Restrictions, authorities have warned that tougher restrictions are on the way.

Unless substantial rainfall occurs between now and the end of January in the Betoota Catchment, Level 3 Water Restrictions will come into effect, with many new conditions, the most notable of which is the fairly self-explanatory “If it’s yellow, let it mellow; if it’s brown, flush it down” rule.

To ensure compliance, specially trained Toilet Inspectors will be deployed to randomly inspect Betootan Toilets.

“The training is pretty intense.” says Toilet Inspector Mario Bujega.

We have to force entry to the house and check the colour of the toilet water is yellow against a special colour chart. If the water is clear then we have to perform an ‘Olifactory Assessment’ of the bathroom area, which means we need to check if it smells like shit”.

Houses which fail the ‘sniff test’ and have clear toilet water will be put on a watch list which involves random weekly inspections. Any household which then fails a weekly inspection will be immediately deported to a randomly-selected country.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be pretty extreme” agrees Mario “but then I guess I expected it would be when they made us do a firearms training course and sign all those NDAs”.

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