RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact

Australia and the world is undertaking a once-in-a-century transformation in the way energy is generated and consumed. 

Dirty legacy energy fuels such as coal and gas are to be replaced with low-cost renewables such as solar.

Yet while the renewable energy transition may be gaining momentum, it appears the gas industry has not got the memo – with the price of gas soaring through the roof.

Indeed the more talk there is of renewables, the more the world’s coal and gas companies seem to be raising their prices, with carbon emissions now on course to hit record highs in 2022.

It’s believed this weird phenomenon of soaring profits for resources that don’t have a role in our future comes off the back of the government allowing giant companies to monopolise the resources industry – and subsequently drag the chain on transitioning to a clean, renewable future. 

That dragging of the chain has been affected by powerful resources barons pouring hundreds of millions of dollars into ‘the climate debate’ and PR campaigns claiming that they have the nation’s best interest at heart. 

Australia’s greatest gas expert is the Gas Baron, Snake Charmer (59), billionaire owner of the Country’s largest resources company, the newly re-branded and oxymoronically titled Renewable Betoota Gas. 

And the living Aussie legend had this to say on the issue. 

“Is the renewable energy transition to blame for my soaring gas profit windfalls? No it’s categorically not. But I’ll say to you what I said to SkyNews, it is absolutely the renewable energy transition that is to blame for my soaring gas profit windfalls.”

Known for eating children right off the street, the large and lovable larrikin Baron is a character as big as his company. 

Renewable Betoota Gas claims that it has single-handedly raised Australia’s GDP out of recession, and now owns more land than the King of England. 

And if we are to measure success in carbon emissions, then the good Baron and his company is Australia’s greatest success story by a country mile.

“I don’t mind this net zero business!” he laughed, telling our team that for every 2 minutes that pass, he makes another $16,000 in profit.

The Baron was asked whether he is concerned about the future of his company given that gas’s input into the energy mix will diminish over time as the market looks to other cheaper, more reliable and actually renewable energy sources. 

The Baron waved a dismissive hand, explaining that no one knows what the future holds.

“Gas and coal isn’t dead yet. In fact it’s never been more alive! Besides, I’m just taking things as they come, one billion dollars at a time,” he said as his big belly wobbled around in delight as he repeated the word ‘billions’ to himself.

“As long as we can stall the market for another few years by pretending like our gas is renewable and coal is clean, then I’ll be able to make at least another couple of billion dollars.” 

More intense weather to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here