In proof that some people do not feel the shame they deserve, local pest Mario ‘Muzza’ Lombardo (22) listened to three days worth of voice messages from his all-male group chat without headphones on crowded public transport.

Taking up an area that would usually seat three, Muzza continued his proud tradition of making crowded train carriages a headphone free zone.

This tradition usually involves Muzza playing his entire TikTok feed and some homebrand hip hop that has never been good in any era at a volume that means everyone on the train carriage can hear it and either confront him or ignore it like a fart.

Today however, Muzza’s fellow commuters were given the rare audible treat of hearing what his equally shit-headed mates have had to say over the past couple of days via voice messages on their group chat.

According to insider sources, the group chat is titled ‘Cunny Appreciation Society (No Crypto)’, or CAS for short, features 22 members who all seem to have forgotten how to type a message.

Although sending a voice message can often be quicker than typing, the end result is an mp3 file filled with the ‘ums’, ‘errs’ and general dead air that often is not included in a typed message.

Due to this time commitment, chat members like Muzza don’t often get around to listening to all the audio messages as they arrive and instead tune in to all of them every couple of days like a dog sniffing a telephone pole. 

“Oiiii, I was thinking for this weekend hey [pause] we probably, rinse and repeat, you reckon?” mused one of Muzza’s mates, who may have been a bit more to the point if he knew a train carriage full of people would hear his indecision. 

“There’s always some nice things to look at in the Vic garden. Titties if you catch my drift! Haha, tiiiiittiiiiiiies!”

Like his mates, Muzza hasn’t got his end away in sometime, possibly due to him only being friends with toxic dudes who create horrific audio messages about their failed promiscuity that they later think are appropriate to play out loud for reasonable humans to overhear.



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