What was supposed to be a light-hearted puff piece aimed at winning back suburban voters who think the Prime Minister is actually incapable of critical thought or any form of political instincts, has since turned into 30 long minutes of watching extremely wealthy Christians pretend to be normal people.
Tonight’s episode of 60 Minutes has featured a wide-ranging up close and personal with the PM’s immediate family with channel 9 presenter Karl Stefanovic.
However, just like the jab roll-out, the bushfire response, federal quarantine, womens safety in Parliament, the sports stadium grants, the car park grants, the fall of the Attorney-General Christian Porter, the booster roll out, the RAT roll-out and the leaked cabinet text messages – tonight’s nationwide broadcast of Peter Costello’s State Propaganda gave even more insight into just how badly Scott Morrison can fuck up anything he touches.
In what is now proving to be a mercilessly cringeworthy attempt at rebranding as somewhat of a likeable Aussie dad, The PM has somehow allowed Stefanovic to place a ukelele in his hands in front of the TV cameras – completely missing the fact that this kind of imagery can only remind Australians of the time he fled to Hawaii on a family holiday while our firies were dying in overturned fire trucks that were being crushed beneath blazing gum trees in the middle of record breaking bushfires.
The program also featured Ms Morrison playing tiny violins about the lonely heartbreak of ‘doing it alone’ while her husband struggles to run the country on close to a million dollars a year with everything paid for.
However, while Stefanovic did his very best to pretend Jenny and Scotty’s bible bashing dinner party was completely normal and not all creepy, it seems there was one surprise that gave him a real fright.
”Karl, we don’t usually bring this out…’ said Scotty, as Stefanovic looked up – hopeful for a drink that wasn’t a low carb midstrength.
But it wasn’t a XXXX Bitter.
”I’d like to introduce you to our a friend of ours’ continued the PM as he walked in man covered head to toe in jet black latex, attached to a leash.
”Karl. Meet the gimp”
It seems this was too much for Stefanovic, who stormed out of the household immediately.
”look!’ roared Karl.
‘I could handle the self-pity. I could stomach the intense Pentecostal Christian moral superiority’
’but that was too far’.
‘I don’t want to kink shame. I don’t wanna sound vanilla’
’but that creature has NO PLACE at the dinner table!’
’we’d just finished saying grace for goodness sake!’