ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The 33rd Irish County of Coogee, the only county currently outside the draconian lockdown measures imposed by the Oireachtas, has celebrated Saint Patrick’s Day by pouring a pint out in remembrance for those back home in the Free State.

The gutters of County Coogee were said to run black with the sheer volume of Guinness being poured out.

Despite the shocking and lasting ecological impact the stormwater Guinness will have on the local marine environment, members of Sydney’s Irish community have welcomed the outpouring of solidarity for their brothers at home.

Speaking to The Advocate‘ Sydney correspondent just after lunch, Darragh Ó Dochartaigh explained he’s sent two pints today down the gutter into the big blue bin of Sydney Harbour to pay his respects.

“Gallag, mate. You know? You’re a big fella, aren’t ye?” said Darragh.

“No, great day, now. No? Right? It’s grand, this place. Hey, standing up now? No more sitting down like a lady on the loo. Hey, stand up son. In pubs, we no have to sit anymore, son. Do you know what I mean?

Darragh squinted.

“Have you poured out a pint? Me, I have poured out two. One for my brother Cailean, one for my da Colm. They are in the sea now, the Guinness not the people.”

Closer to home, an Irish fruit picker doing his farm work out on the Betoota City Limits said he was just glad to be able to have a pint today.

Padraig ó Ceallaigh, of the rough part of Dalkey, is just happy to be here in Betoota. PHOTO: Padraig’s lovely mother, Fionnuala.

The happy-go-lucky Padraig ó Ceallaigh, who claims to have once keyed an obese Protestant’s Volkswagen in the carpark of Johnnie Fox’s one night, was spotted earlier today in the French Quarter enjoying a locally-brewed Guinness in the sunshine.

Down at the popular French-Irish pub, Les Pot De Homard et Royal Mort on Rue de Kadhafi, Padraig just sat with his face pointed toward the sun while he smiled.

“It’s not bad, here, you know,” he explained.

“Watch this, between the harp and the letters.”

Padraig took one smooth but long sip.

“Ah fuck, too much,” he said showing the Guinness tide mark on the pint just below the top of the GUINNESS printed on the side of the glass.

“No worries, I’ll nail it on the next one. Happy Paddy’s day.”

More to come.


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