As the final votes from the 2022 Federal Election are counted, it is now becoming clear just how much damage the Liberal Party has endured under the reign of Scott Morrison.

As it stands, the Liberals have lost 20 seats – with 5 going to the Independents, 1 to the Greens, and the rest going to Labor.

And with 9 more seats still yet to be determined through preferences, the humiliation is far from over.

While much of the media coverage of this election has focused on the coalition losing their once safest heartland electorates to climate-focused teal Independents, it seems that no one wants to discuss the biggest elephant in the room – which is the fact that the Labor Party has managed to flip one of the most bourgeoisie seats in the entire country.

The seat of Higgins in Melbourne’s inner-south-east, which has been held by the Liberal Party since its creation in 1949 and has been held by two former primer ministers, has been clawed from the grips of the coalition with a 4.6% swing.

This is perhaps one of the biggest surprises of the election, given the fact that this Federal division includes the old-money suburb of Toorak – a leafy enclave of Westminister-styled sandstone mansions not commonly associated with the Labor movement.

The seat is now held by a first generation Tamil migrant, Michelle Ananda-Rajah MP, who made a name for herself as an infectious disease doctor during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic.

It is not yet known what or why the bluest blooded voters in Melbourne decided to swing to the working man’s party, however political analysts suggest it might have something to do with Scott Morrison’s decision to abandon Victorians in the pandemic, as well as the fact that the entire city hasn’t been able to celebrate Christmas since 2018 due to dangerous bushfire smoke and never-ending lockdowns, or it could have just been the unbridled and brazen political corruption.

However, while the locals pat themselves on the back for sending such a strong message to their complacent servants, it seems this unwise decision to vote for Labor has already blown back in their face.

As of this morning, a communist paramilitary have begun seizing properties and sports cars in Toorak, as anarchists take advantage of the fact that this country is now run by a major centre-left political party with identical tax policies to the last government.

“They didn’t listen” whimpers former Liberal MP for Higgins and current Channel 9 chairman Peter Costello.

“This is what happens when you vote for socialist disease specialists. This is what ScoMo was protecting them from”

“I tried my hardest to tell them that this would happen on the front page of The Age every single day”


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