CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
An entire workforce of carbon-exposed tradesmen have today declared their disgust with the man they voted for in 2019.
This comes as Scotty From Marketing announces his vague new commitments to Net Zero Emissions by 2050 just days before he flies to Glasgow to get photographed with the world leaders who are refusing to give him submarines unless he pretends to take scientists seriously.
While the Prime Minister hasn’t actually outlined any concrete plans to reach net zero, the mere fact he has even acknowldged climate change has seen him written off as a traitor to thousands of FIFO workers who live in 6 bedroom houses in the canal suburbs of the Gold Coast and Brisbane’s bayside.
“I’m off him” sneers Coomera-based FIFO worker, Zayde Knockson (33), from the vibrating Harvey Norman lounge positioned in the opposite direction of his waterfront view.
“He told us that he wouldn’t go near any of this greenie shit”
“He’s betrayed rural Australia with this Net Zero bullshit”
Zayde pauses as he erratically wipes his nose and takes a hit from his hand-grenade-sized refillable vape.
“What about the blue collar workers in the bush!?”
“Some towns depend on the economic boost that blokes like me provide them while waiting for the shuttle bus from the airport to the FIFO camp.
With Scotty From Marketing now scum to these same workers that were promised that the gravy-train of non-unionised fly-in-fly-out coal mining would never end, the Federal opposition are now charged with finding a way to catch the wave of votes rapidly bleeding from the coalition.
Labor’s best bet is to quietly make a few promises that dispel the economic anxieties of miners in Queensland and Western Australia – a task that may prove quite difficult given that their current voter base is made up of woke inner-city white collars who think anyone who ever took a job in the mines should drawn and quartered in the main street of Newtown.
The logical next step for ALP to oust Scotty by cutting a preference deal with One Nation and Clive is probably another strategy that they don’t want anyone living in a double bricked terrace house to know about.