A new report commissioned by the CSIRO has today confirmed that it is impossible to tell hipsters in Adelaide apart from their counterparts at the other end of the spectrum.

The report found that the current crop of hipsters are indistinguishable from the towns more populous crop of Adelaidian bogans.

Reasons listed in the report for their superficial similarities were; the recent mullet trend which has taken the hipster subcommunity by storm, the distinct lack of interest in personal hygiene, and tattoo’s that look like they’ve been scribbled on by someone’s cousin who got a tattoo gun the other week.

The Chief Scientist in charge of the report explained that the results of the findings were symptomatic of other cities across the country, but most apparent in the Free Settlement of Adelaide.

“Go down to West End in Adelaide on a Thursday night, and you will have a hard time telling who is who,” the scientist said.

“All the hipsters seem to be rocking the mullet down here now. If you need to figure out what a particular individual is quickly for some reason, then just bump into one of em at the bar, and if they gee up well then you’ve got a flag flying out the VF type of Adelaidian, and, if they don’t well you’ve got yourself a kombucha drinker.”

“Anyway, apparently the people of the city aren’t bothered if the weird trend makes headlines down there, as long as people stop referring to the ‘place where they put bodies in barrels.’



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