After a week of grilling the government for ‘broken promises’ – the Federal Opposition has today come out in support to the proposed changes to the Stage 3 Tax Cuts.

This comes after a Coalition party room meeting this morning, where Peter Dutton learnt that his colleagues have only been met with positive feedback from their constituents, making it harder for him to defend the interests of the rich.

“We are supporting this change not to support the Prime Minister’s lie but to support those families who need help now.” said Peter Dutton, as he concedes that something needed to change in the midst of a cost-of-living crisis, while still condemning the Prime Minister for changing something because he’d previously said he wouldn’t change something, even though something needed to change.

With polls showing that over 65% of Australians backs these changes as a measure to provide a little bit of air to those treading water in the midst of inflation and rising bills, it seems that this financial relief will be signed off on by July 1.

In fact, the only people still railing against the decision to halve tax cuts to the upper income brackets is the Australian media class, from both sides of the aisle.

While the shiraz-toothed collumnist and evening TV presenters for NewsCorp throw tantrums about having to pay more tax than poor people who didn’t try in school, it seems that the ABC’s top brass have also taken issue with the fact that they too have to help pay for roads to be fixed.

Despite having a reputation as ‘lefties’ – it’s become clear that the neoliberal heart deep within the Ultimo Kremlin is well and truly beating this week – as ABC executives demand their editorial staff put their shoulder to the wheel in an effort to scare the government out of these mild changes.

One prominent public broadcaster heavyweight, Resin Negluss (68) has arrived at work in a filthy mood today, after sitting down with her advertising executive husband to do the sums on the new renovation plans for the Tasmanian holiday home.

“Who knows what we are going to do. The Hobart place won’t be ready until 2025 at this rate” she snarls to a fellow comrade at the in-house cafe today.

“Albanese needs to be held accountable for this. It’s not even coming from the right place, he’s only helping the poor people because improving peoples lives wins votes”

“I want this interrogated on every platform tonight. Tell Sarah Ferguson she needs to make these straight white men squirm.”

“It’s actually kind of sexist when you think about it. It’s not the mouth breathing factory workers feeling this pinch, once again it’s women like me that have worked their whole lives to achieve their dream weekender in the Apple Isle – only to reach another glass ceiling before the renovations can begin”

The growing army of champagne socialists surrounding this rant nod in agreeance. Resin continues.

“I hate sport, and therefore hate sporting analogies, but in this case I’m willing to make an exception…”

“You simply cannot shift the goal posts when it comes to tax cuts!”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here