Local woman Stacey Brice had been enjoying her day when she received a LinkedIn notification.

Thinking someone had spied her profile, Stacey was mortified to find out that a former schoolmate had just been promoted to ‘Head Research Scientist at NASA.’

“Oh for Christ’s Sake”, says Stacey, spilling a half eaten 4 N Twenty pie on her shirt, “I don’t need this shit.”

Stacey had been feeling pretty good about herself lately, and was happy being a Site Supervisor for a local fit-out and construction company.

But with this news, Stacey feels she may be underachieving.

“Honestly I don’t even know why I have a LinkedIn profile,” says Stacey, “It’s not exactly blue collar friendly.”

“I’m starting to think the whole premise of it is to make you feel like shit.”

This comes after a particularly hard year filled with engagements, marriages, and newborns being flouted on Facebook, and impossible waist to butt ratios lining her Instagram feed.

“Yeah I’m pretty over these notifications” says Stacey, “like no, I don’t want to congratulate Amy Anderson for starting a new position at Google.”

Not keen to delete all her social media profiles just yet, Stacey has decided to instead focus on the more positive things instead.

“I think I need to realise that for every promotion or cool new position, there’s someone getting involved in a pyramid scheme.”


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