EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

As she rifles through her top drawer, local woman Milly Whitehead yet again finds herself unfolding (okay, unscrunching) a top that has some kind of hole in it.

This has so far included her favourite black turtleneck, a cute going out shirt, a jumper, tank top and a hoodie, which have all suspiciously gotten holes at roughly the same time, and in similar places.

Her first thought had been a moth infestation, but aside from the fuck ton of fruit flies in her kitchen who were completely undeterred by the fact she didn’t have any fruit, or the occasional cockie, Milly’s apartment was pretty much insect free.

Besides, anytime she had had moths in the past, those fuckers had always gone for her cereal. And you’d think you’d notice if a bunch of moths came flying out every time you opened up a drawer.

Her shirts also appear to be getting smaller, but not her pants, making it unlikely Milly has somehow magically gained weight in her boobs only (one could dream).

“Hmm, no idea”, Milly thinks, as she piles in a bunch of tops she washed after using once into an incredibly hot dryer, “maybe they’re just bad quality.”

More to come.

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