ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
“He sometimes even wears gloves,” said one classmate.
“I’ve seen him with a scarf wrapped around his neck – the same day it was so hot, the goannas were frying on the sand,” said another.
They’re talking about is Bont Coleman, a well-known local drifter who controversially enrolled in the South Betoota Polytechnic College after threatening to blow it up in 2013.
The 34-year-old has also mailed bullets to various public figures, some of which he didn’t even have anything against.
Bont is weird in every sense of the world.
He spoke to The Advocate about his fashion sense a short time ago.
“It is very suspicious to me that someone like you would be interested in what I wear,” he said, quite uncomfortably.
“Are you a Rothchild? Or a reptilian humanoid? It’s quite obvious to me that you are not a real person.”
Our reporter then terminated the interview and looked for the nearest exit.
Gauging just how uncomfortable he was making everybody in the room, Bont then kindly offered an explanation as to why he dons warm clothes when it’s very, very hot outside.
“What is normal you is not normal to me,” he said.
“I wear a trench coat because I think I look like a fucking mad cunt in it. The same reason why all those manboobed careermen that work in the city shop at RM Williams but get frightened around livestock and horses,”
“That’s not normal to me. That’s my explination. Now get out of here before I skin you and turn you into a raincoat.”
More to come.