In a massive loss for anyone who has ever been remotely dramatic, a USB found on the street of Betoota’s Old City District was found to not contain a single clue relating to an unsolved crime.

The disused USB was spotted by copywriter Shan Wentworth (32) who picked up the potential Pandora’s Box after discovering it in the sort of alleyway where one would not be surprised to find the remains of Bruce Wayne’s parents. 

Unfortunately for Wentworth as she opened the USB over a cup of black coffee at midnight, she was horrified to learn it did not contain a single clue about an unsolved murder or disapearance. 

“It’s just full of pirated episodes of Grey’s Anatomy,” stated a dejected Wentworth, who would have much rather found clues to the whereabouts of her classmate who went missing three years ago.

“18 seasons! Jesus Christ, maybe a crime has been committed.”

This is not the first time Wentworth has been let down by mysterious goings on in the Queensland channel country, citing a similar incident when a man drinking whiskey alone in a bar turned out to be just another boring prick and not a hardboiled PI with nothing to lose. 

Wanting to make lemonade out of her torrented lemons, Wentworth tried watching a bit of the pirated Greys Anatomy that made up the entirety of the USBs files before deciding sticking a pencil in her eye might be preferable. 


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