EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

Despite being the butt of every family joke for the past few years, local teen Nick Ford now finds himself equipped with some very crucial skills, which may be the key to him surviving world war three.

It’s alleged that Nick had begun to spend more time in his room once he turned thirteen, which though perfectly normal for a boy his age, had caused his parents to become concerned. This was due mainly to the slew of news articles they’d read about sinister online forums, or current affair segments about teen boys becoming entangled into the dark web. And though Nick hadn’t quite gone through his edgelord phase, he has picked up quite the addiction to Call of Duty – which some may argue can sometimes have a pretty toxic community.

But nonetheless, Nick’s daily routine of spending four or more hours a day playing black ops may actually be beneficial, considering his aim has vastly improved and he’s smashed his highest killstreak. A skillset that may unfortunately be rather useful in the next few years.

It’s reported that his parents had ceased their nagging entirely after news broke of Putin sending troops into Eastern Ukraine, with many left discussing the chances of a World War 3, which unfortunately would be yet another example of history repeating itself.

Though his parents sincerely hope a draft doesn’t happen, at least they won’t have to worry about him giving away his position or struggling to communicate with his teammates.

More to come.


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