A seemingly stoned bloke working at a roadside Betoota servo has today rolled out the up-sell.

For customer, Ted Reston (41), the last thing he wants is someone openly talking about what he’s put on the counter – let alone trying to sweeten the deal.

But the man operating the till has talking points that he must tick off, as part of the job.

36-year-old Sam ‘Squid’ Venner lives the absolute dream. Between surfing and dirtbiking, he makes good coin as the manager of the Betoota South Supercentre – without any judgement of the people that utilise his workplace for the bathroom facitilities or a quick feed.

The Gatorades are $4.50 but you can two for $7.50 – the customers need to know this, and it’s Squid’s job to tell them.

The $6.50 Mars Bar / Gatorade combo is also great value. But if you’re looking for a special, look no further than the boiling hot bain marie.

The deep fried Cransky are going for $6 for one serving of two tubes – which is a good wedge between brekky and lunch. But if you double down on that it comes to $11.40. That’s enough for a proper feed. And you’re not gonna get lunch for cheaper than that on the run.

As Ted makes his way to the counter with his shameful purchase of a Kiwi Strawberry flavoured vape, a Mountain Dew and two tubes of the crispy breaded sausage full of cheese, Squid makes a point of telling him he’s doing it all wrong.

“Ya know if you get two lots of the cranksy you’ll save 65 cents” says Squid.

“No brainer. It’s good shit”

Ted pauses halfway through opening his wallet”

“Do many people honestly take you up on that?” he asks the chirpy servo attendant.

“Bro of course. Good value”

Ted, already growing concerned that anyone standing behind him might get a good look at these items that he definitely will not be telling his wife about, turns his eyes to Squid.

“That’s like 1200 calories” he says.

Squid laughs.

“Yeah but if you’re going to do it, may as well do it properly”

“One bloke comes in here and orders a Chiko and tomato sauce with them. Sucks the sausage and cheese out and then stuffs in then slides the roll inside the batter with dead horse”

Ted feels goosebumps come over his body.

“Well I won’t be doing that” he says, with a tone of superiority.

Squid eyes Ted carefully, knowing he’s got him on the hook.

“But yeah fuck it go the twofa” says Ted.


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