MPs trying to pass the pub test could learn a thing or two from local pokies dweller Shane Clay (48) as his eighth Bundy and Coke and sixth pineapple fed into the Queen of the Nile have brought his opinions out in full force.

As the alcohol increases his leniency to justify his already widely shared opinions, onlookers were forced to become spectators as an increasingly dribble soaked Clay explained how he would run the country.

“Schools need to bring back the cane,” dribbled Clay to his reluctant audience.

Witnesses state Clay slipped back and forth on topics varying from how political correctness offends him and how all coppers are power trippers.

“They just wanna get back at ya because ya didn’t- mean they didn’t eva get on the footy team. I didn’t get on the footy team either and I’m not a grub about it.”

What grace Clay lacked in eloquence he made up for in skillfully switching stances as his anti-police rant was later countered by his support for the AFP journalist raids.

“Information is classified for a reason, ya don’t need a university degree to tell ya that, why anyone has trouble understanding that is beyond me.”


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