ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The threat of bushfires is a clear and present danger for many communities around Australia – a fact that keeps our Prime Minister up at night.

Scott Morrison explained to The Advocate this morning via telephone that he couldn’t just sit there and watch people lose everything to the wanton destruction of a bushfire.

Laughing in our reporter’s ear when asked if the problem might be related to climate change and our flippant disregard for carbon emissions, the faux-dorky Taurus said the cause of these spring bushfires is much simpler.

“I have solved this issue,” he said.

“Now we can move onto more important things, like giving Paul Gallen the keys to the Shire! Am I right?”

Morrison said he solved the increased threat of bushfires by moving the needles back to low on every bushfire warning rating sign he came across.

“It was that simple. I’m a solutions-based Prime Minister. If you have a go, you’ll get a go. Unless you’re a bushfire. I will not burn for a bushfire or give it a go. The promise of Australia doesn’t extend to bushfires, they are more of a Labor policy,”

“How good is Paul Gallen?”

Our reporter said not very and hung the phone up.

More to come.


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