EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A sadistic gym owner has today taken it one step too far, by placing a rather embarrassing piece of equipment in full view of prying eyes.

Louis Redman [35] is alleged to have purchased ‘Bob’s Fitness’ roughly six weeks ago, with plans to turn the struggling, outdated gym into the trendiest multi level centre in Betoota Heights – an easy feat, given there were only two pint sized gyms in the area.

Including a $60 membership plan, with perks such as ‘free towels’, $12 smoothies and a room with red neon lights, Louis was positive he could reinvigorate a gym that was once reviewed as ‘smelling like sweaty ball sack’, into the ultimate yuppie haven. Because there’s nothing white collar professionals love more than overpriced, novelty gyms that promote exclusivity.

However, one feature that is reported to have not been received very well is the placement of the hip abduction machine or the dreaded ‘leg spreaders’ as many women have come to call it. Touted to improve flexibility of target that pesky inner thigh fat, it’s virtually impossible to not feel self conscious, with many people choosing to keep their gaze cast downward in fear of locking eyes with a creep.

It’s unknown if Louis had made the placement on purpose or he was just incredibly daft, but it’s alleged the machine was plonked right in the middle of the gym floor, in what was arguably the most heavily trafficked area – resulting in every woman avoiding it like the plague.

Though the female patrons had assumed it was an accident, Louis was seen later placing the machine facing towards the windows.

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here