In the glorious lost days between Christmas and New Year’s, Australian children and adults alike enjoy a relaxed schedule of chilling the fuck out with whatever streaming service is providing the goods right now and an unholy amount of food and bevvies.

Although our r ‘n r schedules may differ from person to person, one thing all mums of Australia can agree on is that there will be no bloody takeaway until the Christmas leftovers are gone, OK.

Surely our favourite Christian holiday stolen off Pagans, Christmas Day provides observers with an abundance of food in the days following, turning the most meager fridge into the bustling larder of a feudal overlord.

It is for this reason that Australian mums are making it clear that there will be no bloody takeaway before the Christmas ham has been sliced to the bone and the turkey and stuffing has been smashed in roll form.

In the town’s aspirational center of Betoota Heights, mum of two Kirsty Milligan (40) has made it clear to her children and partner that in order to eat a takeaway pizza, they have to eat the one she has made with leftovers first.

“I know it’s the holidays but we’re not getting Chinese until the chicken is gone!” stated Milligan before mentioning how children in Africa would love to be eating leftovers right now.

“There’s also fresh fruit from last week! Eat that!”

“Why am I always the only one who eats any bloody leftovers in this house?”


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