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With a crime wave spreading across the great state of Queensland, the government has decided to act.

In an effort to show people that they are tough on law and order, the government has revealed exciting new plans to turn petty young delinquents into full blown battle hardened adult criminals.

The government is hoping to implement new youth justice measures that will see kids who’ve had tough upbringings brought into the justice system even earlier, and for longer periods of time.

It’s a move aimed at ignoring all of the reasons why kids might feel the need to steal money or goods from people’s houses, and designed to make sure that they two new youth justice facilities the government is paying huge money to have built, are filled up from day one.

“The key to solving our crime crisis, is to create more hardened criminals that we can lock up for longer periods of time,” explained Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk today, after announcing new laws that will make breaching bail laws a criminal offence for children.

“Examining societal issues around why young kids are turning to crime and trying to implement alternative justice models that allow for kids to receive education, rehabilitation and training is just way too hard,” she laughed.

“It’s certainly way too hard to explain to people as well.”

“Locking these criminals up and giving em a kick up the arse makes everyone feel better.”

Her comments come as youth detention centres are filled to the brim, with plenty of kids currently being held in adult watch houses – a process which is hoped will teach them how to turn a foul mouth and a hungry stomach into full time employment with an organised crime group.

“These kids just need to learn how to behave,” said Palaszczuk today.

“And one of the ways we can do that is by exposing them to career criminals in adult prisons.”

It’s hoped that the new policy can create a new generation of incarcerated young men who distrust a system that let them down, and they can then be locked up for longer periods for much more serious crimes.

More to come.

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