EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A Betoota Polytechnic psychology student has found herself the unwitting recipient of a Rorschach test this afternoon, after the black mould that had been growing on her ceiling mysteriously quadrupled in size overnight and took on a strange and unworldly shape.

Phoebe Waters [25] is said to have been lying in her bed with a mysterious sniffle when she found herself transfixed by the pattern, initially seeing a run over bat with splayed back legs before changing her mind to a Woollies rotisserie chicken.

“Hahahahaha. A WELL HUNG rotisserie chicken”, laughs a delirious Phoebe, to no one in particular.

Unsure what seeing those patterns revealed about her psyche, Phoebe is positive she doesn’t have schizophrenia at least, but knows that the sheer fact she’s chosen psychology at all means means that her mental health is questionable – and what better way to understand the motives of why people do the things they do, than to study it for a living?

In Phoebe’s mind, studying psychology allows her to arm herself from ever feeling personally affected by someone’s actions, because that bloke who ghosted after her a third date obviously wasn’t cuddled enough as a baby, which has therefore resulted in a fear of intimacy.

Or some shit like that.

“Hmm, no.”

“I think it could be an animal hide.”

More to come.

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