EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

Employees at One Pump Digital have this week been forced to scrounge around for a spare office chair and keyboard, after ‘forgetting’ to buy some equipment for their new employee, who is alleged to be starting her first ever adult job since graduating from university.

Despite knowing for a solid three weeks that Sophie Gilman [21] would be starting, there’d been no rush to buy any nice new equipment for the bubbly recruit, as the boss was ‘certain’ there was a spare chair somewhere – and sadly for Sophie, there was.

A chair that not only looked as though it had more work experience than Sophie, but was covered in more mystery stains than a roadside mattress.

Though that would have been bad enough, the boss has also managed to find a spare keyboard stowed away at the bottom of one of the web bloke’s drawers, which appears to be encrusted with food, flakes of skin, and god knows what.


Sophie was alleged to have remained to have been too excited to notice she’d been presented with several people’s DNA, but was later seen tipping the keyboard over and giving it a whack to get some of the bigger flakes out.

More to come.


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