RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact

A human being that was birthed in the maternity ward of the Betoota State Hospital on the 14th June 1980 has felt a devastating pang of nostalgia today.

Sarah Daniels experienced the pang while reading the terrible news that Australia’s most beloved music retailer, Sanity, is closing its 50 remaining stores across the country. 

“I bought my first CD from Sanity. And my last,” Daniels told the Advocate solemnly, showing our team scratched copies of All-4-One’s single release, I Swear, and Warner Music Australia’s full-length compilation album, 100% Hits: Best of ‘97.

“It’s just what we did back then. You’d wait months for a CD to come out, go to Sanity, spend $30 bucks on 12 songs, go back home and spend the next month in your bedroom listening to them over and over.”

It appears Daniels’ emotional response has been shared with many across the country, as hundreds of thousands of greying Gen Xers express immeasurable grief across their MySpace and Facebook pages.

Earlier today, Daniels told the Advocate she intends to pay homage to Sanity by only listening to CDs for the entire week. 

Removing cobwebs from one of her Sanity-purchased dead technology music discs titled Cracked Rear View by a group called Hootie & the Blowfish, Daniels placed the CD into an old timey CD-playing contraption and wept.

“I only wanna be with you-oo-oo.” Neck veins protruded wildly as she belted out song lyrics while fighting back tears. Red wine in hand, she poured a nip out to hit the vinyl flooring below. “This one’s for you, Sanity.”

As the outpouring of national grief continues unabated, authorities have declared that a state funeral for the beloved company will be held in each state and territory over successive days. 

Details on how you can attend proceedings will be made available from Sanity’s online store, sanity.com.au, which will remain operational until it too dies out.

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