A group of friends have sounded the bullshit alarm in a Betoota pub this afternoon as they call out a fanciful story from a mate who wears more high-tech devices than a US Navy Seal.

Evan Taycan (34) is considered the token “crypto bro” within his group of old school mates, mainly because he was the only guy in the group who magically dissolved a hefty chunk of his savings by investing in NFT artwork.

Given Evan doesn’t have a great track record on making successful predictions for future bets in technology, it’s believed his musings are often approached with caution from his wider group friends whose radars ping every time Evan talks up another rogue investment.

However whilst sharing a few pre-weekend knock offs, Evan has really outdone himself today by climbing up onto his high-horse and outlining unsubstantiated plans to buy an EV.

“Claire wants to trade in the Mazda, so I’m actually thinking of getting a Polestar 2!” Evan mused to the group.

“We just need a whip around, they’ve got such good range on them these days.”

As a man who battles a schizophrenic addiction to breaking technology news, Reddit forums and micro investing apps, Evan’s plans are seemingly at odds with the fact he’s a chaotic mess whose phone usually sits on 4% battery, and is always the first person to turn up at a dinner party and ask to borrow a phone charger.

“Bro you can barely keep your iPhone from going into Low Power mode,” fired up mate Blair, “Any time I call you I get crickets cos you’re usually carrying around a dead brick in your pocket.”

“You realise 30 minutes of public charging will get you about 50kms, so that’ll get you to the shops and back on a good day” added another friend Tim.

“Maybe you should invest in a phone charger that actually works, or have you got the bar staff charging it so we don’t have to cover your Uber home tonight?”

More to come.


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