LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Betoota local Ollie Crandle (31) has proved he must be on a good packet after getting a relatively minor bumper scrape fixed.

During one of the half dozen routine moves of his car he forced to make in the Start-Up Precinct of Betoota’s Old City District, Crandle discovered a little scrape on his front bumper, the sort of wear & tear that speaks to not giving a shit about cars or what people think about you.

“He wasn’t that bothered by it,” stated coworker Naomi.

“It’s the sort of scrape that makes up the price of living in the city. Other people will damage your car and not leave a note. Life is hard and there’s no justice on stolen land, deal with it you know?”

Despite his blase attitude towards the scratch that Crandle wasn’t even sure was new, he proved to his friends, family and coworkers that he must be on a good packet by getting it fixed literally right away.

“Who does that? It’s not like he owns a luxury car or something, he’s got a baby seat crusted with Tiny Teddies in the back. Why would he care about a scratch he couldn’t even see with his glasses off?”

When asked how much it cost to get fixed, Crandle stated it ‘wasn’t cheap’ with estimates ranging from $500 to $4000 depending on how much the panel beater hated yuppies.

The Advocate reached out to Crandle for a comment but heard no response about the cost of his minor repairs or what exactly a ‘product designer’ does for a living.

MORE TO COME.

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