EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A Betoota Heights woman has this week decided she’s 100% for real this time becoming a gym junkie, after her Tik Tok algorithm was hijacked by booty transformation videos.

Loudly declaring to anyone within earshot that she ‘wanted a dumpie’, Ainsley Hobbs [26] has decreed that the only way she can do this is if she gets a bunch of new gym clothes (hers are too daggy), an expensive blender for smoothies and a membership to a stupidly overpriced gym, as well as tracking her macros via a Fitness app. 

However, much like the last time she used one of these apps, Ainsley has found herself heavily struggling to meet her daily protein requirements, as she’s discovered pretty much everything she likes to eat is a carbohydrate. In fact, finding a good source of protein is now the bane of her existence.

Nonetheless, when Ainsley finds herself struggling to reach her protein requirements by 9pm, she can always count on the delicious mix of high protein yoghurt and peanut butter to get her by.

But by god, is she fucking sick of it already.

“Hmm yum”, she grimaces.

More to come.


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