THIS IS 30: In a groundbreaking revelation, it has been confirmed that a local man has officially entered the age of assuming every bloke larger than him “must play footy” as if it’s a universal truth.

When studying a group of blokes as they transitioned into their 30s, scientists found that these men, currently grappling with the existential crisis of a body that’s seen better days, reminisce about their glory days in high school when they were at the peak of their questionable athleticism.

Now, with their fitness levels waning, they compensates by becoming an unlicensed sports detectives, comparing the pair of every blokes rig they happen to come by.

Insights from the study also revealed that hitting the big 3-0 magically bestows upon them the ability to discern a man’s entire athletic history merely by observing his physical stature.

Whether at the pub, the local bakery, or the gym, these self-appointed sports detectives quietly declare, “Woah he’s jacked, he must play footy” every time they encounters a gentleman of larger proportions.

When it comes to being a bloke, one does really judge a book by it’s physical exterior.

More to come.


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