EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
Local girl Vanessaa Bryan wasn’t prepared when she received a late night Snapchat from Ben the spunky builder.
It’s revealed she’d been lying in bed watching Tik Tok videos when Ben had sent through what was obviously an attempt at starting an in depth conversation.
“What u up to?”
Posting a photo that appeared to be the corner of his shoulder, Ben had thoughtfully captioned the image in rainbow text for added effect.
This in turn set forth a series of scrambled attempts on Vanessa’s behalf to reply quick enough but not so quick she looked super keen. Unfortunately for Vanessa, her bed hair, decade old flannelette pajamas, and pair of slightly yellowed Invisalign retainers probably wasn’t going to get her laid.
Luckily, she could turn to an optical illusion to make herself look ten times better than she actually does – Snapchat filters. Snapchat filters, or the modern technological revolution responsible for a staggering increase in body dysmorphia, are designed to not only smooth out every pore, pimple and orifice but completely distort the shape of your face into something akin to a hot alien.
Evident in either the kissy mark or butterfly feature watermark, these filters have quickly been adopted by young women around the world who don’t fit an oddly specific convention of beauty.
Unfortunately, flicking through filters is an especially soul destroying process for Vanessa as her real face keeps popping up between filters.
Though she’d never considered her chin and cheeks to be that wide, the staggering difference between her real face and the smaller, improved version of the ‘King slut’ filter has her deeply considering booking a one way ticket to South Korea to get a full face restoration.
It’s unknown if Vanessa did end up sending Ben a saucy snap but her roomies allege they saw her examining her under eyes with a hand mirror before gently weeping herself to sleep.
More to come.