ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A French Quarter sexagenarian has had the gloss taken off his Easter holiday break by the fact the Lake Betoota holiday rental he and the family are enjoying for the next seven days doesn’t have a real stove.

“Look at this leftie crap,” said Francis ‘Frank’ Helm as he pointed toward the induction stove.

“What’s wrong with a gas stove? I hate this leftie rubbish. It gets too bloody hot or not hot enough. It’s bloody rubbish, it is.”

Despite his very loud consternations regarding the cooking facilities, Frank admitted to our reporter that he wasn’t expecting to do much cooking.

“Me? Cooking on holiday? I don’t think so. If the pain and strife wants to cook up some breakfast one morning, then she can do whatever she wants. There’s a communal BBQ in the pool area, I’ll do some steaks on that,” he added.

When our reporter remarked that the communal BBQ next to the pool at the Lake Betoota Resort was actually electric, he tiled his head sideways and frowned.

“It’s a barbecue, mate. Only a softcock leftie would grill on an electric barbecue. Do I look like a softcock leftie to you?”

Our reporter indicated that he did.

More to come.

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