EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local dad has last night copped an absolut walloping after failing to exert enough patience to wait a mere fifteen minutes for dinner.

Phil Gordon [53] is alleged to have a pretty haphazard diet, often powering through a twelve hour work day subsisting on a single vegemite and cheese sandwich. This would then cause him to come home tired and starving, with only enough energy to find the nearest snack source and eat the entire thing – which has caused a lot of strife in the household, seeing as every Monte Carlo packet is eviscerated before anyone else can have one. 

So annoying is this habit that his wife Carole has had to hide some packets of biscuits and chips in the back of the cupboard, so the rest of the family can have something to snack on, and leaving some sacrificial chips within his eyeline.

Unfortunately for Carole, Phil doesn’t always choose the best time to make his way through the pantry – often opting for just minutes before dinner.

And despite him being able to polish off both an entire packet of Honey Soy BBQ and a roast chicken, Carole still gets the shits every time he does it. 

“Phil, you’re going to spoil dinner can’t you wait?!!”

“It’s only fifteen minutes for Christ’s sake.”

Mumbling something along the lines of ‘should have started dinner earlier”, Phil continues his chip rampage unabashed.

More to come.


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