WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

A recent graduate from Diamantina Technical College has been called out today on his habit of referring to himself as a Doctor.

Sam Wilson whose paper titled: “Bountiful mind: memory, cognition and knowledge acquisition in Plato’s
Meno earned him a Doctorate in Philosophy, has been relishing any opportunity to give himself the honourable title.

“Hi, I am Sam, Dr. Sam now actually,” he laughed last night at a dinner with some acquaintances.

The 37-year-old man, who often alternates between wearing a trilby and a flat cap, was reportedly eager to discuss his paper with any of the people at the dinner he hadn’t met before.

Local electrician Phil Anderson, whose girlfriend is friends with a friend of Wilson’s said he was on the verge of slashing his wrists at the dinner table a few minutes into the pompous chat.

“I’m pretty happy to talk about a lot of things really. I actually read quite a lot and my old man was a high school teacher so I have a pretty decent grasp on tertiary dinner table conversations, but this was terrible,” Anderson said.

“He would say something quite vague and then do this laugh that sounded like he was choking on his own saliva and I just had to smile and nod.”

Towards the end of the dinner, Steve Phelps, who is more of an acquaintance than a friend, asked boldly after a few glasses of red:

“You aren’t really a Dr though are you, Sam? It’s not like you’re a Professor or Colorectal Surgery for example? You don’t know your rectosigmoids for your regular run-of-the-mill sigmoids? Do you?”

“Well, I actually am champ,” was the retort from Wilson quite angered by the comment, although he know’s he really isn’t,”

“Alright mate, if you say so,” said Phelps, who nodded sarcastically before asking what everyone had on this weekend.”

More to come.

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