LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

A brilliant piece of rebranding might see Aussie farmers flock to renewable power by rebranding wind turbine farms as ‘air shearing’.

According to year 8 history classes and the Easter Show, Australia rode into prosperity on the sheep’s back with shepherds and shearers still being amongst the nation’s proudest farmers.

With all carbon neutral farmers too busy being interviewed by ABC radio stations, the advertising industry has had to step in again to be the cultural driving force that the Australian film industry cannot even be in their dreams.

According to Neilsen data, since wind energy has been rebranded as air shearing, up to 60% of farmers have expressed an interest in getting involved in this innovative and patriotic form of farming.

“Shearing the air allows us to trim the fleece from the biggest, fluffiest sheep of all; clouds,” stated the advertising copywriter who came up with the idea and would be rewarded with an hour’s break this Wednesday evening (they must still be available to answer emails).

“But instead of knitting a jumper with the cloud fleece, the energy will keep us warm by heating the house.”

“Centuries from now, portraits of the first air shearers will be in galleries for our descendants to marvel at and wonder in awe at those brave farmers who sheared the sky in the time before personal corn powered jetpacks.”

MORE TO COME.

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