An outdoor table is being set with cold cuts of ham and shaved turkey this afternoon, as a Betoota family joins forces to save the dignity of their long-suffering Uncle.

After recently going through a divorce with his wife of 11 years, The Advocate understands members of the Cartwright and Henderson family have come together to arrange a ploughman’s lunch for their beloved Uncle Craig, in an effort to check on his welfare and ensure he hasn’t slipped too close to reckless gambling or alcohol addiction.

With all eight members of the family working in unison to set the table with outdoor picnic cutlery, it’s reported the mood was quite buoyant upon hearing Craig had been keeping up his very regular hobbies.

“Yeah just been keeping myself busy, I haven’t been drinking much which is good,” admitted Uncle Craig, much to the delight of his immediate family.

“I’ve been playing more golf actually, that’s been good for me!”

Initially relieved to hear their Uncle hadn’t decided to try and find comfort in the bottom of a bottle of Jack Daniels, the mood reportedly turned a little sour after hearing Craig had decided to go full beach-creeper and buy a metal detector.

“Actually I’ve bought myself a metal detector, ordered it in from BCF,” exclaimed Craig.

“It’s one of the good ones with headphones and everything, I’m keen to take it down to the beach tomorrow.”

“Now what are you gonna do with that thing?” shrilled Aunt Joan, a family member who’s only ever had the best interests of her brother close to her heart.

“Craig that’s weird, everyone knows those things are creepy as” proclaimed Nedd, Craig’s 22-year-old nephew.

“Yeah can you return it, I think you should track down the receipt,” stepped in older brother Jason, the head of the family.

“I’ll take you back to BCF tomorrow, surely they can exchange it and we’ll get you some fishing gear or maybe a Kayak.”

More to come. 


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