UNITED AGAINST BIG SHOTS: The once mysteriously brilliant turned cringe and annoying US billionaire Elon Musk has accused Australia’s Online Safety commissioner of censorship and has vowed to challenge an order to begin regulating his online platform X, formerly Twitter, in court.

This follows calls for harsher sanctions for social media platforms in light of a string of violent attacks in Sydney last week, all of which ended up online. Social media companies have been warned if they fail to comply, they could face potential fines of up to $785k a day.

Distressing and graphic footage of the attacks were rapidly uploaded to social media, and misinformation was immediately spread about the identities of those involved, leading to severe defamation and public unrest.

NSW Premier Chris Minns blasted X on Saturday and said it was time for penalties for social media companies to be strengthened.

This week, the Federal Government has joined the chorus of politicians demanding that social media platforms stop fucking up our brains with algorithmic misinformation that stokes racial tensions and undermines public safety messages.

In a rare turn of events, this desperate call to action has received bipartisan support from opposition leaders.

In the face of Australia’s eSafety commissioner succeeding in setting a global precedent around regulating the wild west of social media, Elon Musk has been quick to accuse Australia of being an Orwellian dictatorship.

However, it seems the eccentric billionaire is not yet aware that the only public figures that the Australian public hate more than their own politicians, are famous hot-shots from overseas.

While Musk is succeeding in generating a smear campaign against ‘Australian censorship’ in the dark corners of the internet, it seems the greater Australian population are growing excited to see his life made remarkably more difficult – as was the case when Barnaby Joyce threatened to execute Johnny Depp’s undeclared pet dogs, or when Novak Djokovic was denied a visa for the Australian Open, or when Bob Hawke booted Frank Sinatra back onto his private jet after being rude to a female Australian journalist.


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