A poorly worded success story has begun in the Betoota Old City District today as a ladder climber has finally become important enough to do away with email etiquette. 

One of the most dire uses of the English language, email etiquette is the practice of hoping people are doing well while disguising your disgust as courtesy. 

However, it is only low to mid level workers who need to bother with emails that feature punctuation, grammar and a considerate tone as anyone who matters enough to make a decent salary can put whatever they want in an email.

One such important person is lawyer Regan Halper who recently became a partner at Halper, Halper & Sons and thus can skip email pleasantries as well as the expectation of reading beyond the subject line of any email sent to him.

“Reg always used to hope I was well, now he doesn’t even know how to use a question mark,” stated one Halper, Halper & Sons employee who was violating no less than 40 NDAs.

“He has answered ‘yep’ to every single multiple choice question I have sent to him.”

The Advocate reached out to Halper for comment but received only ‘yep, sounds good talk soon – SENT FROM MY IPHONE’ and a rather gaudy email signature in response.



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