WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet Reporter | Contact

A local builder was left bemused this week, after the apprentice returned with his impossible request.

Brad Holmes, a middle aged joker from Norwood in Adelaide, chuckled to the other tradies on site when he asked the young fella to pop off down to Bunnings and get a tin of tartan paint and a box of bright sparks.

He laughed with the other blokes as the 17 year old apprentice James Davis zoomed off to the North Betoota Bunnings in his one tonne Mazda ute.

“Hahaha fuck imagine his little face when he gets in there and asks for a box of fucking “bright sparks?” Holmes said to the plumber.

“These young blokes are so impressionable, aye. He just left without even asking what the fuck tartan paint is.”

The laughter turned to shock however, as Davis returned sometime later with the requested goods completely unaware of what had just happened.

“Here we are boss. Tartan paint and a tub of bright sparks. Is that what ya wanted?” Davis asked.

Holmes started pissing himself before examining the goods much to the confusion of the apprentice.

“It turns out he found the stuff fuck me dead. He has no idea what ‘tartan paint’ means and Bunnings has some fucking gross green shade called tartan paint now? Who the fuck woulda guessed,” Holmes said.

“Oh and bright sparks is some new fucking cleaning product that the dipshits directed him too,”

“Jokes on me I guess. That little trip cost me 90 bucks and and an hour of his wages,”

The builder said that he won’t make that mistake twice and will be sending Davis down to the Roads and Maritime Service next week to get a Wheel Barrow Licence,”

“Yeah that definitely is not a thing. So he will return with his tail between his legs next time for fucking sure.”

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